Lost And Found
During your drug-addiction phase, did you have a girlfriend?
I didn't care about sex. I had a girlfriend, Toni, for about a year before I became drug-addicted, but our relationship gradually grew into friendship. We're still friends. To be engaged didn't make sense as we didn't have sex.
When you quit drugs, did you feel like having sex again?
Yes, I did. I go through phases. Now I'm very well without it.
Why does this allow you a major clarity?
I know that now I couldn't be happier than I am. Sex often distracts me from my job. I don't want to find myself in a relationship unless I can coordinate it with my job, without letting it influence my musical self.
It's hard to write music if you argued with your girlfriend...
I couldn't allow it, it must not happen. I feel too much responsibility to do the best work because I am John Frusciante. I can't tolerate it when something prevents the realization of my will.
In your opinion what's your mission? Why have you been created?
I've already had this revelation, but now I don't think too much about it. I remember that, when it was revealed to me, I needed to hear that because I had such a low opinion of myself that I would've never believed I had to do something creative. I'm talking about when I was about 27.
That's the other song with the number on your last album.
You're right, 27 has been important. It was the hardest year of my life and at the same time, the beginning. My life began again and now I'm myself again.
You were talking about your mission...
At that time I really needed something that made me feel better, that convinced me that I had a reason to exist. Then I had the revelation and since that moment I didn't do anything but continue the "legs' game". There's no need to be aware of the last aim, of the final results of the work I did in my life. It's only important that I can write and record all the music I want. I try to impose in my life a state of continuous changing and maximum creativity. I must stay concentrated on what I do and don't let anything distract me. I want to do as many things as possible and of the best quality. I know there are important reasons for me to do it, but I can't remember them because now I don't think about that anymore. Now I have enough gratifications. When I was 27 I needed to hear that there was a reason to be alive, now I don't need to be convinced anymore. I no longer hear the voices because I'm doing what they want.
The voices are your subconscious or do you believe there are others beings who communicate with you from the outside?
Both of those things. I believe in the existence of other beings whom we're actually a single thing with. I don't know if it's right to say "other beings" because every one of us - beyond being the result of memories and experiences - contain in him/herself other personalities with an individual existence in another dimension. But since this dimension doesn't have a linear time, they can't disclose their individuality. They can do it only to someone who lives in a continuum linear time. It's like if through us they can make us do something eternal: a record, a painting, a book. They're as part of what I do as I am part of it. I'd rather believe they're a bigger part than I, but with this I don't want to lessen my importance. Let's say we're all a single thing.
The funny thing is that in a song like Carvel Cakes you seem living in a dimension, but in another one you're very prosaic. In an interview you once talked about the quantity in grams of fats contained in a cracker. It's strange to hear you talking about fats and at the same time about other dimensions. Are they the same thing for you?
Yes, they're the same thing. Everything that happens here is the reflex of what happens in the 4th dimension. When I began to think about these things, I thought that only music was the reflex of another dimension, but it's not true: businessmen, assholes, yuppies... everything is the reflex of something that happens elsewhere. But it's not a dimension where everything is beautiful, pleasant and colorful. Sometimes it can be ugly and disgusting.
